Adoption support group at Born Stoke Newington

A new initiative for adoptive parents with children of all ages

Every other Tuesday, 7.30pm-9pm.  See our events listings on Facebook for details of dates.

A new support group has started up in Born, Stoke Newington, for adoptive parents with children of all ages. The evenings are for parents only, so that there is space to be honest and candid about the ups and downs of adoptive parenthood – or indeed parenthood in general.

Have you just become a new parent, has your child just moved in with you? Or have he/she lived with you for a while? Are they starting school? Are they already teenagers, one foot out the door? Whatever their age or cross road you are at do come along to share your experiences with other adopters.

Becoming a parent turns your life upside down. Nothing quite prepares you for it. We all know that.  It seems to be the deal with parenthood. Full stop. Be it the biological or the adopted way. Becoming an adoptive parent certainly feels like jumping in at the deep end. Despite the years of preparation, peppered with gruelling investigations, endless reading and so on, your child seems to have landed in your house overnight. You might feel quite unprepared, and even at times overwhelmed. A new boss in town – for sure. Ruling the days and the nights.

You may feel quite alone - especially in the early days, just after placement. There may not be a ready network of parents or even adoptive parents for you to tap into, Your head may well be spinning with all those questions that any parent has - and then there is the added dimension of the adoption. Could this behaviour be down to adoption? Or the child’s background? Or is it just the age? Is this normal? This group may not answer any of those questions, but it may give you a forum to discuss them, in a room of likeminded people who have gone through the same thing in their own, entirely different way.

As adopters we have it drilled into us that we need to be reflective and respectful of our children’s background, to contain all their feelings, however stormy and inexplicable. They led full lives before they joined ours, so naturally the upheaval is profound for them too. This is all a tall order - though perhaps not as tall as you might think. There is inspiration and support to be had from other parents, from the sharing of thoughts and experiences.

Surely we are all be better parents when we are relaxed, feel understood and heard ourselves, and can have a laugh about the absurdity and quirkiness of it all. Surely we need a space, an outlet to explore this. Not necessarily to focus on the traumas that our children may or may not have gone through, but just to talk about the key thing in the life with them, from our perspective: being their parents, the everyday part of that equation.

The group takes place every other Tuesday from 7.30-9pm in the Born Shop in Stoke Newington. There will be refreshments.
Clissold Playgroup for Adopted Kids

Where: Lawn outside Clissold House, downstairs café (inside café in case of rain)

When: Friday morning, 9-12am.

Are you stuck with a baby/toddler/kid and wanting get out of the house to meet up for a coffee with someone? Then this playground may be for you and your kid. This is an informal playgroup for adopters and their children that meet every Friday morning for a bit of fun and run around. It takes place between c. 9am and 12noon on the lawn at the downstairs outdoor cafe in Clissold House. If it rains, we meet upstairs in the cafe inside round 9.30am. Kids of all ages are welcome. Hope to see you there!

For more details please contact: clissoldparkplaygroup@gmail.com

If you are the parents of an adopted or fostered child you may find this article on the Attachment Parenting International website interesting entitled 'Developing Emotional attachments in adopted children'.

Eva