Co-Sleeping and Bed Sharing - Doing What Comes Naturally!

When you have a young baby, people become extraordinarily fascinated by their sleeping patterns.  Complete strangers will stop you on the street and having asked the name of your little one, they'll move straight onto "are they a good sleeper" or the killer question - "are they sleeping through the night yet?"

Sadly, how, where and for how long your baby sleeps seems to have become a way in which people judge others parenting skills or even gauge how "good" a baby is.  And although these are obviously ridiculous notions, it can put an enormous amount of pressure on parents to get their baby to fit into "acceptable" sleep patterns, even if it goes against their own instinctive parenting style.

Bed Sharing and Co-Sleeping are sometimes held up as contentious sleep practices, even though bed sharing has been the norm for non-western cultures for centuries.  In fact, for western societies, it is only with the introduction of bedrooms for each member of the household that bed sharing and co-sleeping became less common.  However, over the last few decades, more and more parents are discovering the joys of co-sleeping with their baby - a recent poll in Parenting Magazine indicated that 42% share sleep with their infant at least part of the time - and as long as it is done sensibly and safely, there are some very real benefits for parents and child.

Bed Sharing

Bed sharing is when you share the same sleep surface as your child, most commonly, sleeping together in an adult bed. Sleeping next to your baby is not just a lovely thing to do - with only 25% of your baby's brain developed at birth,  the proximity of bed sharing serves to support your baby's emotional expectation and physiological needs.  Parent and child can detect and respond to each others sensory cues during sleep - smells, sounds, movements, heat and touch - increasing bonding and often leading to a more peaceful, uninterrupted sleep for both.

Bed sharing is ideal when breastfeeding. Studies have shown that breastfed babies automatically move toward the mother during sleep, finding comfort in the familiar, nurturing presence.  Equally, women who breastfeed and bed share generally have a 'c' shape around their baby so they are protected from getting too hot or from the pillow or blanket covering their face.  Many babies often manage to feed with the mother remaining asleep or only partially waking, again leading to a more restful sleep for baby and parent.

Co-Sleeping

Co-sleeping is when your baby sleeps within sensory range of you, but not necessarily sharing the same sleeping surface.  Co-sleeping has many of the benefits of bed sharing as the baby and the parent can still pick up on physical and emotional cues throughout the night.  Some people select co-sleeping rather than bed sharing if they have other children in the bed, if they have a partner who is a heavy sleeper or who is on medication, or if they are concerned about any other of the safety aspects of bed sharing.  Co-sleeping is also great for older children who may take up too much room in the bed or who need support through the night for baby-led potty training etc.

Snuzpod Bedside Crib

There are specific 'co-sleeper' cots available that can be placed right up beside the parent's bed, essentially extending the surface and giving the baby their own area in which to sleep.  There are also baby nests, lambskins and other products to help define a baby's sleeping area if you are bed sharing or co-sleeping. Visit the Co-Sleeper & Bed Sharing section on our website to see what is available.

Red Castle Organic Cocoonababy nest

In the end, no matter what judgements others like to make on the subject of baby sleeping and parenting styles, what really matters is you and your family.  Go with what feels right and what works for you and your baby - and if your child still wants to sleep in your bed when they are older, consider yourself extremely privileged!



Bed Sharing safety advice from the Dept of Health:

• Make sure your baby can’t fall out of bed.
• Keep your baby cool by using sheets and blankets or a baby sleeping bag rather than a duvet.
• Always put your baby to sleep on their back rather than their front or side.
• Don’t use a pillow – babies don’t need a pillow until they are one year old.
• Never risk falling asleep with your baby on a waterbed, sofa or armchair.

Select co-sleeping rather than bed sharing if you or a partner:

• Is a smoker.
• Has consumed alcohol.
• Has taken any drugs, prescription or otherwise, that affect perception, cause drowsiness or affect depth of sleep.
• Is excessively tired to the extent that this might affect being able to respond to the baby.