"If I could get a decent night's sleep, I'd be a much better mother!"

[caption id="attachment_2413" align="alignleft" width="480"] Photo from http://mommygreenest.com[/caption]

by April Whincop, IBC Lactation Consultant.

These are the words of women who want to be the best mothers they can be for their babies. A so-called solution to the challenge of the 'broken' nights - an idea often fed into them by unworthy gurus - is to 'help' their babies to sleep longer.

But let's listen to the wordless ones, to the other side of the sleep story. What would our babies be saying if they could speak?



The neuroscientists are telling us ever more clearly that the only needs of babies in the early weeks are love, warmth and food, needs which are all beautifully met by breastfeeding. So we might guess that our babies are saying something along the lines of "Mummy, I don't need you to be the all-singing, all-dancing, entertaining persona you feel you need to present to me. I just want to be held and cuddled and comforted as I get used to this new world. My needs are no different just because it's dark outside - and I know you wouldn't dream of leaving me alone unattended for several hours in the daytime, so please keep me close to you night and day and make me feel safe and connected. There will be a time when I'm old enough to know that separation really is only temproary, but I'm not ready for that yet."

Instead of offering opinions to a new mother, telling her to train her baby to sleep for unnaturally long periods at night, let's offer ideas for a win-win solution:

• applaud that same woman for responding so sensitively to her baby at night


• suggest she naps in the day to get some restorative rest


• help her find assistance to keep housework manageable


• remind her that breastfeeding is maintained by pretty frequent breast stimulation and milk withdrawal, including at night


• explain that breastfeeding exclusively at night gives her more sleep, not less, and helps prevent depression


• encourage her that she's laying the foundations of trust and self-esteem by responding to her baby.

Babies need the gifts of love and parental time. Mothers need support and reassurance. Let the rest of us give these things to mothers so that they can be there for their infants, without restraint, day and night.

April x

April can be contacted via her website 'Believe in Breastfeeding'