Thursday 28 November 2013

Introducing a new website for Stokey parents

Georgina and I moved to the Stoke Newington area as kids in 1977. Since there has been a massive transformation in the range of shops, restaurants and of course population of the area. It's now a great place for professionals to live, who transform from couples into families. For those new parents, finding out what's on offer has just gotton a whole lot easier thanks to a new website called www.stokeyparents.com.

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Jenna, the founder of the website, wanted us to share the website to our Stokey mums who we hope will find it a useful resorce:

We moved to Stokey a year ago... I was the size of Moby Dick and spent much of my free time waddling up and down Church Street dodging the onslaught of Bugaboos.

I’d never known a place so populated by families with young children or so bursting with activity. Yet throughout the later stages of my pregnancy and afterwards, when our baby son arrived, I was struck by the effort it took to find out what was happening to keep us entertained. I visited so many websites and trawled so many community notice boards that my eyes spun.

Our son is 10-months-old now. It has taken this long to get my mojo back after those crazy months with a newborn and I wanted a project to engage my brain again and to contribute something of worth to a community which has made me feel so welcome.

And so Stokeyparents.com was born. It’s a website which features listings for babies, toddlers and bigger kids and an ‘at a glance’ calendar to help you plan your week. We (my mummy friends and I) have visited local cafes and restaurants to bring you honest reviews of food, service and accessibility for babies and children. I’ve begun the long process of collating Ofsted summaries of local nurseries and schools so you can make informed choices about childcare and education and have created a local news page and blog in a bid to entertain and inform. There’s also a forum to enable you to chat to other local parents and give away, swap or sell items you no longer need.

If your bun is still in the oven, the site enables you to meet other local parents-to-be and it features links to pregnancy fitness, advice and birth preparation too. I hope you’ll find it useful.

There’s a reason Stokey has become the Nappy Valley of North London. I can’t think of a more vibrant, friendly or attractive place to bring up a family. I hope Stokeyparents soaks up all that community spirit and presents all the area has to offer families in a clear and engaging format – but I’ll let you be the judge of that!

Check out our Facebook page ‘stokeyparents’ for regular updates and please enjoy and make good use of the website and give us a shout if there are new things we can add to make your life as a local parent easier.

Jenna - Editor Stokey Parents

Thursday 21 November 2013

Born Together - meet the Team

 

At the heart of Born is our commitment to supporting practitioners who support families during pregnancy, birth and beyond. Our Stoke Newington  store holds a range of wonderful classes every week, including Hypnobirthing with Katrina Berry.  Continue reading to find out why Katrina and the others work with us to create a thriving community of ante-natal and post-natal classes.


I'm a local doula and clinical hypnotherapist and I've taught HypnoBirthing to hundreds of couples at Born. All of them are consistently impressed with the products and range on offer but I've always been keen for them to know that Born is more than a shop. It's a community. It's a community of parents-to-be, new parents, parents with an expanding family and, importantly, a collection of local practitioners.


Co-owner Georgina has been instrumental in connecting with local experts in all areas of pregnancy, birth and parenting support so Born is a one stop shop for all you might need on your journey through pregnancy, birth and beyond. There are support groups for breastfeeding, new mums, new dads and adoptive parents, there's pregnancy fitness classes, there are baby yoga and baby massage classes, there's HypnoBirthing classes.... oh and of course, lest we forget, Born are one of the top five baby boutiques in London (just ask the Evening Standard!!) selling environmentally friendly, natural, organic, fair trade and practical products for parents and their babies.


Born Together is a collective of local experts, brought together through Born, so you can more easily access our support and be aware of all that is available to you on your doorstep. We'll all be at Born on the evening of Wednesday December 4th from 6.30pm so you can find out more about HypnoBirthing, nutrition, fitness classes, homeopathy, baby massage and yoga, cranio-sacral therapy, aromatherapy, breastfeeding support, first aid and the 'Mother's Talking' sessions facilitated by 'What Mother's Do' and 'How Mother's Love' author Naomi Stadlen.


You can grab us for a chat and to ask questions but from 7.15pm we each have five minutes to give everyone a run down of the top 5 reasons for what we do. No long speeches, simply a chance for you to find out more about each expert and their field. A Top 5 in 5!!


I'm looking forward to it and hope to see you there!


To find out more about the classes on offer come to our next open evening,  see events on the Born Facebook page.

This is a guest post by Katrina Berry

Sunday 17 November 2013

The 7 Baby B’s



Last week Peaches Geldof was on 'This Morning' discussing her parenting choices. In the debate she mentioned the 7 Baby B’s which originated from the Baby Books by Dr William Sears and his wife Martha Sears  as an easy to remember guide for people who want to know more about, or practice Attachment Parenting.  Hearing her mention it reminded me of what a good starting point the 7 B’s is as it was something that I referred to when Maya was a baby to reassure me that it was ok to follow my instinct when it came to mothering her. However the 7 B’s are not a ‘must do’ list, like Peaches said they are not strict rules, you can pick and choose what you use and you don’t have to do all 7.

The theory of Atachment has been around since Psychoanalyst John Bowly introduced the theory in the 1950’s. Student teachers, counsellors, doctor’s and nurses, plus many others who work in caring professions are taught Attachment Theory. However despite this knowledge being around for so long and being practiced as the norm in most of the world, Attachment Parenting in the West is still not the mainstream way of parenting. I might be biased in thinking that it can hold the key to a sea change in the level of compassion and understanding we have for one another, as I was raised in an attachment style and replicated this with my own 2 children, but I do think that it can have a significantly positive impact on the future of humanity.

So I thought I’d share my interpretation of the 7 Baby B’s as I found them useful and hope you will too and also to give you some useful places to find support for practicing whatever of the B’s you feel inclined to.

1.   Birth bonding


The way your baby is born can have long term implications for your relationship.  Inform yourself about the effect of birth by attending a good class such as one’s from Relaxed Birth and Parenting in Bristol or Katrina Berry in our Stoke Newington store. If you can’t attend a class, or, as well as attending a class, read our Free Relaxation for Pregnancy and childbirth booklet and relaxation download. If I had know 16 years ago what I know now, to maximize my chances of getting the birth I wanted, I would have done a hypnosis course, taken magnesium supplements had a Doula or Independent midwife, as well as attend Dominiques Relaxed Birth classes.  All this is discussed in Dr Sarah Buckley’s book ‘Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering’.   Having a Babymoon is an important part of birth bonding too.

2.  Breastfeeding


Of course we all know that breastmilk is an ideal food for a baby and with the right knowledge and support almost every mother can have a breastfeeding relationship with their baby. Make sure you have professional help on hand should you need it. We recommend April Whincop a International Board of Lacation Consultants trained breastfeeding supporter, also trained with La Leche League. April can offer support on the phone, in person or via Skype. She also offers a fantastic 'prepare for breastfeeding workshop'.  We hold a monthly breastfeedingsupport group in the Stoke Newington Store, details can be found on our Facebook events page. Bottle nursing is a great way to maintain bonding and closeness if not breatfeeding or for anyone else bottle feeding your baby.

 

 Moby baby carrier 3.   Babywearing


This is the practice of keeping your baby close by using a sling or baby carrier.  Our selection of carriers are carefully chosen to allow you to carry your baby safely and comfortably for as long as you want to in and out of the house. Most are suitable up to toddler age. Of course you don’t need a sling to cuddle and carry your baby but a good one certainly helps to prevent arm and back ache and you can get on and do the things you want to do. When you cuddle another person, both produce oxytocin the love/feel good hormone, according to Sarah Buckly, we need at least 8 cuddles a day to make us feel great. The more skin to skin contact the more oxytocin produced. Baby wearing is a great way for dads to bond. Peaches loves carrying her boys in her organic chocolate Ergobaby carrier. Perhaps hugs are another antidote to depression and feelings of solitude?

 

4.   Bedding Close to baby


Notice that this doesn’t necessarily mean bed sharing. Close can just mean in the same room or with baby right next to your bed in a specially designed co-sleepers or cots such as the ones we sell from Troll or Little Green Sheep's Snuz Pod.

 5.   Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry


This has 2 meanings, firstly to highlight the dangers of ‘Cry –it-out’ techniques. As mentioned in the This Morning interview, Peaches was right in saying that levels of the stress hormone levels cortisol are increased when a baby is left to ‘self soothe’ and all they learn from the experience is anxiety and separation and they are alone in the world unable to rely on anyone for help.  Secondly, it is possible to learn to understand what your baby wants by interpreting their noises and bodily expressions. See ‘The Blossom Method’. But fundamentally a relaxed at ease mother will be able to tune-in to what her baby knows and will become her own expert.

I also believe that if you don’t respond too our baby when they are little how can you expect them to want to talk to you when they are older? They will have learnt that communication with their primary carer gets them nowhere. I also wonder if the huge levels of depression we have in the west are an outcome of such techniques?

 6.   Beware of baby trainers


No clock watching or listening to advice such as ‘if you don’t introduce solids by 6 months your baby won’t eat properly’ if this were the case at least one of my children would still be on a liquid diet! You are your baby’s expert, and don’t let a well meaning friend, relative or health care professional sway you off your heart centered course.  The best training is to surround yourself with people who are on your wave length. See our links and resources page for online and in-person groups and support.

7.  Balance


I’ve been around AP parents for long enough to see this one come up quite frequently and the advice I have for mums who so totally immerse themselves in mothering is ‘put your oxygen mask on first’. You are no good to anyone if you can’t breath. So make time to do something you love and set up support structures so you can get some time off. Or you might decide that going back to work is just the thing to give you that balance.

More useful info


Heart centered concious choices are core to Born's philosophy. The information we give out in the stores and online reflects this, and makes it easy for you to be heart centered too with your pregnancy, birth and parenting choices.

You can find the Dr Sear’s version of the 7 Baby B’s here and learn more about the practice of Attachment Parenting on his site as well as on Attachment Parenting International .

My  list of links and resources that I have compiled to help you in your parenting journey here.

Buy the brilliant ‘Baby Book’

To find a local UK based Attachment Parenting supprt group

 

Love

Eva

 

Monday 4 November 2013

Child’s Play: A Guide to Toys

With Christmas fast approaching, if you’re thinking of a gift for a baby or child, toys are the obvious choice. However, working your way through the maze of toy products can be very confusing. Many on the market are loud, with flashing lights and bright plastic parts. They look like great fun from an adults point of view and after all, it is adults who will be buying them! But think carefully. Babies and children love toys that stimulate their senses, but don’t assault them.



At Born we firmly believe that toys are a gateway to a child’s imagination and should allow them to create and explore a new world, one that isn’t always obvious to the parent. So a dumper truck becomes the cornerstone in a building site game where houses, tower blocks, schools and hospitals are created from wooden play bricks. A wooden rainbow become a see-saw and a hilly road for a car. A faceless cloth doll becomes a best friend for life.



If you are not sure about which toy to buy, check out the details on our website or contact one of our stores – we will be more than happy to offer help and advice.  If you are buying the toy as a gift, we can enclose a gift card and wrap the gift free of charge, before posting it on its way! And if you already have some perfect toys in mind, you can send link suggestions to family and friends, to be delivered or collected from the store.

What is Learning through Play?

For most children, play is natural and spontaneous. It is a major part of their development as it is through play that that children explore and discover their immediate world. It is here they learn new skills, experience emotions and practise new ideas. They take risks, develop creativity and imagination and solve problems on their own or with others. The toys you choose need support their learning and should inspire play, not dominate it.

A great example of this is a Steiner doll which follows the concept that  expressionless toys allow the child to project their own emotions onto the toy,  choosing how they feel that day and leading to more flexible and creative play.

So which toy is right for my child's developmental stage?

Ultimately, your child will choose the toys they want by selecting which they play with and which they ignore! So how do you get that joyful face as they open their presents on Christmas morning and avoid that pile of discarded mistakes at the bottom of the toy box?

Be led by your child. Choose toys that support their current developmental stage and that will inspire and stimulate without being overly challenging. It is always tempting to buy them something that will help them ‘advance to the next stage’ – try to resist – your child will do that when they are naturally ready and will let you know about it. Equally, age appropriate suggestions are useful, especially for safety, but if your child isn’t there yet, don’t buy it. Use your child as your main guide.

Finally, keep some toys that you think they have moved on from. Children sometimes need the comfort and reassurance or to consolidate their development. And it’s always nice to revisit old friends!

Here are some age appropriate toy ideas:

For a newborn



Your newborn will find endless pleasure in just gazing at you, hearing and feeling your presence. They are exploring the world with their senses, but do not yet have control over their motor skills. This is a great time for a cot mobile, with bright colours which they can watch but not reach. Also consider cloth comforters – these can be really effective if you sleep with it before your little one is born – it will have your smell and help give them a sense of security and well-being.

My baby can reach and grab



At this stage, babies love textured toys that they can put in their mouths. This is also the time to introduce soft toys and maybe spark the beginnings of a beautiful friendship between a teddy and your child. Soft rattles are great too – they encourage movement, your baby can make an impact and it won’t hurt if their aim is slightly off!

Tummy time:

It is important for your baby to spend time on their tummy – it helps strengthen neck and upper back muscles and gives them a different view of their world. Baby gyms and cloth mats are perfect for encouraging tummy time, giving them lots to reach for and explore.



My baby is sitting up:

Welcome to a whole new phase! When babies sit up, they are also mastering hand-eye co-ordination and gross motor skills and they are keen to get practicing! Toys with cause and effect are perfect at this stage, so give them push and pull toys, nesting and stacking toys, squeaky toys, shape sorters, activity cubes and simple instruments that they can bang and bash. Activity toys and repetition are key for your little one at this stage.



My baby is teething:



Babies love to put everything in their mouths and chew when they are cutting teeth. It can be a hard time for babies and parents, but choose toys that can soothe or distract as well as being gnawed.

My baby can crawl:

Whether you have a crawler, bottom shuffler, roller or something completely unique, when your child is on the move, they love toys that move too. Push-along toys are great for this stage as they can move their truck or elephant on wheels along with them as they crawl around the room. Consider soft balls to chase after, or blocks to collect and stack.





My child is walking:





Toddlers love to be up and about and want to show what their bodies can do! Pull-along toys are ideal at this stage as your child will get rewarded with little quacks, bouncing bodies or flapping wings as the toy gets pulled along! When they are really steady on their feet, they might like a ride-on toy which will encourage them to explore and get them around the house at even faster speed!

My child is discovering their world:



When your child is eager to explore, choose toys that will enable discovery, but not dictate it. Think of props to inspire role play, such as tea sets or pirate ships. Consider toys that encourage problem solving, such as stacking toys, puzzles or sorting toys. Toys that can be played with outside or in the bath, so that your child can experiment with soil, mud and water. And don’t forget spontaneous toys – nothing beats a good old cardboard box!




A word about safety


Babies and children are hardwired to experiment, explore and at certain stages, put everything in their mouths. Here is where the age appropriate guides are important – heed the labels, there’s often a reason why the toy is ok for over 3 years but not for younger ones.

Your other tool is common sense. Any item small enough to fit through the tube of a toilet roll is a choking hazard. Keep older siblings toys away from younger children, double check the safety advice of any toys given by well-meaning friends and watch out for heirlooms – beautifully nostalgic but probably not compliant with today’s safety standards.

Finally – balloons. According to National SAFE KIDS Campaign, one-third of child choking deaths in the UK result from latex balloons and health authorities recommend that young children are kept away from them. If you want balloons, use mylar ones and always supervise your little ones when they are playing with them.

Why buy toys from Born?


At Born, we believe passionately that the right toy can take children into a world of imagination, giving them the space to explore, experiment and experience.

But it’s not just the end user, the child, that we think about when sourcing toys. What they are made from and how they are made is equally important. So no toys for children made by children. No toys made from plastics that will never decompose but will be a legacy in landfill sites for generations to come. No toys made from depleting resources or toys that release toxins during manufacture or contain chemicals that could harm your child or the planet. So you can rest assured that your gift will be safe, guilt free and most importantly, give your child hours of fun and the freedom to play.