The 7 Baby B’s

Last week Peaches Geldof was on 'This Morning' discussing her parenting choices. In the debate she mentioned the 7 Baby B’s which originated from the Baby Books by Dr William Sears and his wife Martha Sears  as an easy to remember guide for people who want to know more about, or practice Attachment Parenting.  Hearing her mention it reminded me of what a good starting point the 7 B’s is as it was something that I referred to when Maya was a baby to reassure me that it was ok to follow my instinct when it came to mothering her. However the 7 B’s are not a ‘must do’ list, like Peaches said they are not strict rules, you can pick and choose what you use and you don’t have to do all 7.

The theory of Atachment has been around since Psychoanalyst John Bowly introduced the theory in the 1950’s. Student teachers, counsellors, doctor’s and nurses, plus many others who work in caring professions are taught Attachment Theory. However despite this knowledge being around for so long and being practiced as the norm in most of the world, Attachment Parenting in the West is still not the mainstream way of parenting. I might be biased in thinking that it can hold the key to a sea change in the level of compassion and understanding we have for one another, as I was raised in an attachment style and replicated this with my own 2 children, but I do think that it can have a significantly positive impact on the future of humanity.

So I thought I’d share my interpretation of the 7 Baby B’s as I found them useful and hope you will too and also to give you some useful places to find support for practicing whatever of the B’s you feel inclined to.

1.   Birth bonding

The way your baby is born can have long term implications for your relationship.  Inform yourself about the effect of birth by attending a good class such as one’s from Relaxed Birth and Parenting in Bristol or Katrina Berry in our Stoke Newington store. If you can’t attend a class, or, as well as attending a class, read our Free Relaxation for Pregnancy and childbirth booklet and relaxation download. If I had know 16 years ago what I know now, to maximize my chances of getting the birth I wanted, I would have done a hypnosis course, taken magnesium supplements had a Doula or Independent midwife, as well as attend Dominiques Relaxed Birth classes.  All this is discussed in Dr Sarah Buckley’s book ‘Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering’.   Having a Babymoon is an important part of birth bonding too.

2.  Breastfeeding

Of course we all know that breastmilk is an ideal food for a baby and with the right knowledge and support almost every mother can have a breastfeeding relationship with their baby. Make sure you have professional help on hand should you need it. We recommend April Whincop a International Board of Lacation Consultants trained breastfeeding supporter, also trained with La Leche League. April can offer support on the phone, in person or via Skype. She also offers a fantastic 'prepare for breastfeeding workshop'.  We hold a monthly breastfeedingsupport group in the Stoke Newington Store, details can be found on our Facebook events page. Bottle nursing is a great way to maintain bonding and closeness if not breatfeeding or for anyone else bottle feeding your baby.

 

  3.   Babywearing

This is the practice of keeping your baby close by using a sling or baby carrier.  Our selection of carriers are carefully chosen to allow you to carry your baby safely and comfortably for as long as you want to in and out of the house. Most are suitable up to toddler age. Of course you don’t need a sling to cuddle and carry your baby but a good one certainly helps to prevent arm and back ache and you can get on and do the things you want to do. When you cuddle another person, both produce oxytocin the love/feel good hormone, according to Sarah Buckly, we need at least 8 cuddles a day to make us feel great. The more skin to skin contact the more oxytocin produced. Baby wearing is a great way for dads to bond. Peaches loves carrying her boys in her organic chocolate Ergobaby carrier. Perhaps hugs are another antidote to depression and feelings of solitude?

 

4.   Bedding Close to baby

Notice that this doesn’t necessarily mean bed sharing. Close can just mean in the same room or with baby right next to your bed in a specially designed co-sleepers or cots such as the ones we sell from Troll or Little Green Sheep's Snuz Pod.

 5.   Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry

This has 2 meanings, firstly to highlight the dangers of ‘Cry –it-out’ techniques. As mentioned in the This Morning interview, Peaches was right in saying that levels of the stress hormone levels cortisol are increased when a baby is left to ‘self soothe’ and all they learn from the experience is anxiety and separation and they are alone in the world unable to rely on anyone for help.  Secondly, it is possible to learn to understand what your baby wants by interpreting their noises and bodily expressions. See ‘The Blossom Method’. But fundamentally a relaxed at ease mother will be able to tune-in to what her baby knows and will become her own expert.

I also believe that if you don’t respond too our baby when they are little how can you expect them to want to talk to you when they are older? They will have learnt that communication with their primary carer gets them nowhere. I also wonder if the huge levels of depression we have in the west are an outcome of such techniques?

 6.   Beware of baby trainers

No clock watching or listening to advice such as ‘if you don’t introduce solids by 6 months your baby won’t eat properly’ if this were the case at least one of my children would still be on a liquid diet! You are your baby’s expert, and don’t let a well meaning friend, relative or health care professional sway you off your heart centered course.  The best training is to surround yourself with people who are on your wave length. See our links and resources page for online and in-person groups and support.

7.  Balance

I’ve been around AP parents for long enough to see this one come up quite frequently and the advice I have for mums who so totally immerse themselves in mothering is ‘put your oxygen mask on first’. You are no good to anyone if you can’t breath. So make time to do something you love and set up support structures so you can get some time off. Or you might decide that going back to work is just the thing to give you that balance.

More useful info

Heart centered concious choices are core to Born's philosophy. The information we give out in the stores and online reflects this, and makes it easy for you to be heart centered too with your pregnancy, birth and parenting choices.

You can find the Dr Sear’s version of the 7 Baby B’s here and learn more about the practice of Attachment Parenting on his site as well as on Attachment Parenting International .

My  list of links and resources that I have compiled to help you in your parenting journey here.

Buy the brilliant ‘Baby Book’

To find a local UK based Attachment Parenting supprt group

 

Love

Eva

 

Born Loves .... The Moby Wrap Baby Sling

Why do we love the Moby Wrap?

• It is simple to use.  Don't be daunted by the idea of a long piece of fabric, instead think of learning to tie your shoelaces.  Once you get the hang of it, it becomes second nature.


• Babies love the Moby Wrap.  I suspect it is because they feel as cosy as they did in the womb, and helps them transition through the 'Fourth Trimester'.  Many experts believe that babies are born earlier than is optimal, as our bodies have had to adapt to our evolved brain/head size.


• Nothing looks cuter than a baby snuggled up in stretchy wrap.  Especially when carried by their fathers.


• Anything that allows parents to safely have their hands free to do things like eat, get out for a nice walk, read a book is a winner in our books.


• They are great value for money, especially when you consider how much use you will get out of them.  Plus the Moby is great quality and will last, especially as there are no buckles and bits to break or lose.


• You will look and feel like a parenting ninja when you wrap the sling around yourself super-fast, then settle your baby to sleep in minutes.


• Have we said your baby will love it?  Especially if they have colic, reflux, teething pains, a cold, separation anxiety - or just want a cuddle.

Still not sure?  Why not pop into one of our stores for a demo with our trained staff.  We have weighted baby dolls for you to practice with if you are still expecting.

~ Becky

Manduca baby carrier with free sucking pads

The Manduca Baby Carrier is a fabulous soft structured baby carrier that is suitable to use from birth. For a limited period, with every carrier sold you will receive a free set of strap protectors.  It's really common for babies to suck or chew the straps on their carrier, so having these pads means you don't have to wash the whole carrier every time they decide on a nibble.

Christy Turlington Burns Designer Ergobaby Carrier

Ergobaby has partnered with Every Mother Counts, the organisation founded by former 'supermodel' Christie  Turlington Burns. Christie is a mother of two and wife of Actor and Director Ed Burns, she founded Every Mother Counts "To help raise awareness about the global tragedy of maternal mortality, hundreds of thousands of women continue to die needlessly each year due to complications in pregnancy and childbirth but the truth is that we can prevent up to 90% of those deaths. Through partnerships like this one with Ergobaby we will be able to heighten awareness for maternal health and hopefully inspire millions of people to take action on this issue."

Every day 1,000 worldwide women lose their lives due to complications caused by pregnancy or childbirth, leaving thousands of children having never met their mothers and older siblings motherless.  Although reproductive health issues are the leading cause of death worldwide among women aged 14 to 44 years, experts estimate that 90% of these deaths are preventable. This is not a developing world phenomenon, this happens in the UK too.



The range consists of 2 designer carriers and bags. Not all will be available in the UK.

At Born we work with ante-natal teachers and childbirth educators who are creating a shift in maternity care. Sometimes a woman's whole experience can be altered by a bit of knowledge she learnt in an ante-natal class or from a practitioner that she would not have heard had she not made the decision to go to that particular class or talk. When you have the information it is then possible to make informed choices about the care you want during labour and postnatally.  I believe we have personal responbility for our own and our families health. Pregnancy and birth is a time when this is more evident then at any other time in your life. Should you need a contact for a Practitioner or class we would be more than happy to share our contacts of trusted people with you. Please feel free to email us.

What's the best baby carrier for me?

Nothing's quite like coming into one of our stores for a sling fitting but here's a quick run down of our favourite carriers and why we love them. We've chosen nine of the best carriers for nine of your everyday situations:


1. The Moby wrap
We call it: "Best for newborns"


2. The ERGObaby Baby Carrier
We call it: "Best for toddlers"


3. The Manduca Baby Carrier
We call it: "Best for parents of different sizes"


4. Buckle carriers (ERGObaby Sport Baby Carrier pictured)
We call it: "Best for long walks"


5. The BB Ring Sling by Babylonia
We call it: "Best for breastfeeding"


6. The Caboo Carrier by Close Parent
We call it - "Best for plus-size parents"


7. Stokke® MyCarrier
We call it - "Best for gadget loving dads"


8. The ERGObaby Performance Edition
We call it: "Best for smaller parents"


9. Organic carriers (ERGObaby Organic Baby Carrier pictured)
We call it: "Best for Eco-parents"

If you can't come to our stores but would like to talk through our carriers a bit more, you can always call or email us.

Remember, we've got special offers on for Babywearing Week as well as a Facebook giveaway to win sling accessories. Keep on slinging!

How to carry your baby safely and comfortably by Juliana Hounsfield

Yesterday, I (Eva) shared what osteopath Juliana Hounsfield of The Family Practice in Bristol told me about how babywearing benefits parents and babies. I also asked Juliana how we can be sure that we're carrying our babies safely and comfortably. She gave her thoughts:

"At the Family Practice, we see many adults who come in as a result of caring for children.

There are so many ways in which adults hurt their backs or necks while caring for their babies and young children, especially as parents are often tired, lacking time to stay fit, strong and flexible.

However, there are a few ways in which we can make life with babies and children easier and help them avoid hurting themselves.

Make sure your sling is well-fitted
I believe that using a well-fitted sling that goes over both shoulders, with the baby or child facing the parent, can reduce injury, pain and fatigue suffered by parents.

The adult can then carry their child all day if they desire. The sling helps distribute the babies weight evenly. By keeping the baby close, the postural muscles of the body work less hard to keep you upright. The further away a baby is from the adult's centre of gravity, the quicker the adult will fatigue and suffer from strain.

The sling must be fitted so that the baby doesn't wobble when you lean forward. It must be high enough to support the baby's head. Only then will the parent and child move freely and symmetrically, so they can be symptom-free.



Your carrier must satisfy your baby's criteria
1. High and supportive enough to hold the head well
2. Tight enough to hold the baby close to your chest
3. Allowing knees and hips to be at approximately 90 degrees

The baby has a heavy head in comparison to its body. At first, it is unable to hold the head by itself. As a child gets older, the sling must still be able to hold the head if the child falls asleep, to prevent straining the neck.

The spine needs to be supported so that the baby doesn’t slouch and compress its chest and abdomen.

A baby in your arms will naturally pull its legs up and straddle your body. The legs get pulled up to support the baby's body and balance. When using a sling, the same should be possible. This agrees with the baby's anatomical make-up and supports proper hip development.

(Eva: The TICKS Rules for Safe Babywearing * is a great reference guide for anyone wanting to carry their baby)

A special note about hip dysplasia
Hip dysplasia is a comprehensive term that has been used to include a spectrum of related developmental hip problems in infants and children, often present at birth.

It can be either congenital (CHD) or developmental (DDH). It occurs when the top of the femur (leg bone) is not properly located in the hip socket or not located where the hip socket is expected to develop.

It is well-known that in cultures that practice infant swaddling and using cradle boards to carry their babies, the incidence of hip dysplasia is very high.

On the other hand, cultures that carry their babies astride the mother's backs have a low incidence of hip dysplasia.

Hence, it appears logical to discourage putting the baby's legs in the extended position and to keep baby's hips spread apart. This latter position places the head of the femur (the ball) against the acetabulum (the socket), and encourages deepening of the socket.

A good sling will give you a tool for enabling your child to journey painlessly with you throughout the day, passively going where you go, doing what you do, hearing what you say, seeing how you react and feeling your heart beat.

Your child will be part of your life but protected from it too. The sling will give your baby the chance to wake up slowly, to become aware of the world in its own time, whilst learning the rhythms and movements of life through the parent."




Love, Eva.

* TICKS was co-written by Born's Buyer Becky Ward

Why is babywearing so good for you and your baby?

Babywearing Week started yesterday so I (Eva) had a quick chat Juliana Houndsfield, osteopath at The Family Practice on the Gloucester Road in Bristol about the benefits of babywearing.

Juliana is a mother of three young boys. She treats women in pregnancy as well as post-birth, and treats their babies too. Here's what she had to say about how healthy babywearing is:

Babywearing promotes successful breastfeeding
"At The Family Practice, we often see mothers with a lot of tightness between their shoulder blades. They go on to have problems with engorged breasts or problems breastfeeding.

If they are carrying their baby one-sided, they get stiff on one side which means that the drainage is not so good.

For breastfeeding mothers, it is my opinion that it is most important to keep the neck, thoracic spine, shoulders, pectoral muscles mobile.

They need to have free hands and be able to swing arms to improve the blood supply. This promotes good drainage of the breast tissue for good milk production and successful, pain-free feeding, without mastitis or blockages.



A supportive carrier balances parents
"A sling allows parents to have their arms and shoulders free. They move their whole upper body much better and do things in a balanced way.

If you cannot move your arms when you walk, everything is uneven - you cannot move symmetrically or mobilise your shoulders back and neck. Pushing a pram or carrying a car seat has the same effect. We can’t use our arms if they are holding on to a pram.

When we are holding something, we cannot swing our arms and get that even flow of blood we need. We are prone to giving ourselves little problems that can become bigger problems.

By using a sling, adults can carry their children all day if so desired. The sling helps distribute the baby's weight evenly. By keeping the baby close, the postural muscles of the body work less hard to keep you upright. The further away a baby is from your centre of gravity, the quicker you will fatigue and suffer from strain.

We see a lot of people with tight upper, mid and lower back issues after carrying car seats or from putting them on their hips (the pectoral muscles are clenched the whole time). When carrying their baby on the front or back these muscles are free to move."

Carrying your baby helps you psychologically
"Having free hands is quite important psychologically. It makes people feel like they are coping a little better. They can do so much more. When your baby is happy and on you, it makes a difference to your mental health to know that you are managing OK.

Slings are incredibly enabling. I still use my ERGObaby carrier with my three-year-old, and my Moby Wrap was fantastic when my boys were small."



Wearing your baby in the right sling promotes good growth
"If they are in a car seat, they, their spine and their muscles are still. They can move their arms and legs but not terribly much.

Osteopathy is all about movement. When a baby is in a sling, it is constantly being moved around. Muscles are being moved. A body needs movement to grow. In a car seat they aren’t moving. As they can’t move themselves they need to have it done for them which is why baby carrying in a good sling is so important.

A tight sling, like swaddling, is good for a baby. A little compression gives the baby’s muscles something to do and that’s important for growth.

Babies can’t hold their head, neck, spine and pelvic floor themselves so the sling needs to do it. It’s really important that the sling does this well.

Parent-facing in a sling benefits your baby emotionally
"When babies are in carseats, they are not being shielded from anything. They are often at fume-level of cars if in a stroller and overstimulated. It’s important to keep baby inward-facing for the same reason.

Most babies love being carried in a sling. If they aren’t comfortable it’s important to find out why. It could be because of their birth or just that you have the wrong sling.

For babies, it's important to be close to mum for those first nine months. During that time they are still part of you and need the reassurance of a heartbeat, voice and body warmth.

I feel that there are so many advantages to using a sling to carry babies and children. As long as the adult is well advised in the choice of sling and helped when first using it to make sure that the baby is held high and close enough, there should not be any discomfort."



Tomorrow on the blog, Juliana will tell us more about healthy ways to carry our babies.

Remember, we've got offers on for Babywearing Week and a giveaway on our Facebook page to win brilliant sling accessories. Happy Babywearing Week!
Love, Eva.

Help! I think I bought a fake ERGObaby Carrier

 

An increasing number of people are contacting us after they buy an ERGObaby carrier online and get suspicious about its legitimacy when it arrives.

Lo and behold, after we check it, it becomes clear that it's not an official ERGO carrier but a fake.



How to spot a counterfeit seller as opposed to a genuine second hand seller

1. Most people who have bought counterfeits have done so from the leading auction site (you know the one!) or from smaller ones that also have local sites.


2. They are being sold as a new boxed unwanted gifts or because their child did not get on with the carrier.


3. Online counterfeit sellers often have more than one carrier to sell. That should send alarm bells as no one selling a genuine one will have more than one to sell.