Why do mothers need to talk? by Naomi Stadlen

Naomi Stadlen: Author of What Mothers Do and How Mothers Love

Naomi has run 'Mothers Talking' sessions at our Stoke Newington Store since we opened 8 years ago. These sessions are a wonderful place to be heard and acknowledged for the hard work mothers do. In this Blog, Naomi gleans from the mothers who attend, what they receive from the group.  The sessions take place every Monday (except bank holidays). For details see our events page. You can also buy Naomi's wonderful books from our stores or online.   ~ Eva

What we love about washable nappies

Thanks to Rae Vacher Lowe for the baby in nappy pic!

I loved using washable nappies. I loved that I was saving lots of money, that I wasn't throwing away disposables into a landfill site and I especially loved that I knew that I was only putting natural fabrics on my baby's bottom.

Recently I asked our Facebook likers what they loved about washable nappies. I hope these quotes inspire you to use washable nappies with your baby or if you know someone who needs convincing. Perhaps sharing this with them will help them see how great they are.

Sonia says she loves "to look at them on the washing line" and "to fold them, put the extra padding in, the liner and roll them neatly piled up on the shelf ready for use!" I have to agree, I remember a great feeling of satisfaction seeing a clean pile of nappies ready to go. I'd pile them with my favourites at the top with not so great ones at the bottom. I tried so many brands that I did have favourites!

Suzanne Yates on Shiatsu for pregnancy and for babies

Suzanne Yates, is a shiatsu and massage practitioner specialising in maternity work. She regularly teaches maternity courses for therapists world-wide and has just returned from teaching in Rome.  If you would like to see a therapist trained in the Well Mother approach then you can go to the Well Mother register. 

Suzanne has written many books, including 'Beautiful Birth' which is available to buy from Born.

How can receiving shiatsu and massage in pregnancy support your baby’s development as well as supporting your own posture and well being

Much has been written about the benefits of touch in supporting pregnancy by promoting relaxation, connecting with your body and baby and easing  the “complaints of pregnancy” such as back ache, nausea and preparing for birth.

Supporting awareness of different positions in pregnancy

However I want to focus on another benefit of shiatsu and massage:  supporting awareness of the different positions in which you work and rest.  Having a range of different positions can help you feel more comfortable and enjoy your pregnancy more, but it’s also good for your baby’s development.

Pregnancy positioning myths

I have found over the last 25 years , despite the increase in awareness of massage and yoga, that not only are women, and men, moving less, but also there seems to be a lack of knowledge, or even fear, about positions that one should rest or exercise in while pregnant.  A common myth is that the left side lying position should always be favoured over the right, and in some extreme views, that the right side position should be avoided as much as possible. Another myth is that for all women lying supine after the first trimester is dangerous. While it is true that left lying may be more comfortable for some women than right lying, and some women can’t lie supine without feeling dizzy or uncomfortable, this is not the case for all women.

Learning to listen to and trust your body

So in my work, both in teaching therapists and working with mothers, I emphasise the importance of spending time supporting the mother to start trusting her own feelings about her body. I want a pregnant woman to feel able to listen to her own body, rather than forcing herself to stay in uncomfortable positions because she thinks they will be better for her and her baby. When a pregnant mother first comes for a treatment,  I spend time working out which positions are comfortable for her,  not only during the treatments, but also with ideas of how to sleep and rest comfortably, as well as looking at how she sits at a desk and how she moves. It is important to find the right kind of supportive cushions and to offer as many different options as possible. This can include, supine where appropriate, semi reclining, side, sitting, forward leaning.





Positions and movements in Labour

Listening to your body in this way will also help prepare you for labour and be able to find positions which you will find comfortable then.  It will also help you get prepared for exploring appropriate positions for feeding, carrying and exercising with your baby after birth. I want women to appreciate that what is comfortable is different for every woman and also varies from day to day.  Nothing is fixed!

Benefits of all fours



It is helpful to include some massage or shiatsu with the woman in the all fours position: this is not only excellent for alleviating lower back ache and helping the baby rotate more towards the anterior position, but also helps prepare the mother for labour and helps her have a different awareness of her pelvis.



How are we blocking our pelvises?

Due to the increased time spent sitting at computers and driving cars, a lot of pressure builds up in the pelvis. This may cause back ache, especially with the increased weight of the baby during pregnancy. It also has the effect of making the muscles in the pelvis become lazy, potentially leading to pelvic girdle instability. This is why it is important to offer options of other positions and movements which can be included in day to day activities, not simply attending classes.  However, this lack of movement also affects babies. A lot has been written about how this has led to an increase in posteriorly positioned babies, and babies getting stuck during labour. However, I am increasingly concerned about how this affects the development of the baby. Babies develop through movement and ideally the womb should provide a rich environment as the mother moves around and adopts different positions. As the mother moves less, so also the baby moves less. So during my work I emphasise the importance for women to be aware of how their baby changes position as they shift in the different positions during the treatments.

Postnatal positions for mother and baby

I find that this increased awareness of the baby helps the mother be aware of the importance for the baby to move postnatally. It is great that carrying babies is becoming more popular these days. However it is important for the mother to think about how she is carrying her baby and to vary the positions. A lot of women come to me and therapists trained with me, with hip and shoulder and carpal tunnel problems caused by carrying their baby on one hip.  This will also affect the babies left/right side development. It is important that a baby gets a full range of stimulation by being carried on both sides as well as on the mother’s (or father’s) front and back. You can see a wide selection of good carriers in Born's Carriers section.

Putting babies on their tummies

Another of my concerns with lack of movement for the baby after they are born is how little parents place their baby on their tummy. Due to concerns over Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, parents are encouraged to put their babies on their backs to sleep. However many parents become afraid of putting their baby on their tummy when they are awake. I see many babies who are rarely, if ever, put on their tummy. This leads to them developing flat heads and also less muscle tone in their backs. They tend to start crawling later than babies regularly put on their tummies and sometimes do not crawl at all. This has a long term implication for their future physical and even brain development as brains develop through movement. I make sure that I include this awareness when I teach mothers infant shiatsu and massage.

It’s amazing, isn’t it, how such a simple thing as being aware of your posture, has such profound implications; both for mother and baby.

This is a guest Blog by  Suzanne Yates of Wellmother.org

Andy Warhol & Bugaboo- The perfect marriage between iconic art andinnovative design

Andy Warhol Flowers tailored fabric set for Bugaboo



After much anticipation, the Andy Warhol collection Bugaboo tailored fabrics have finally arrived. These are super limited in quantity and once they have gone that's it.  Georgi loves Andy Warhol, so was excited to write this blog about them.

I have never truly understood it when people say they are in love with their new shoes or new bag, I mean, they are material things. Well, I clearly had never seen such a beautifully designed product, one that brightens up your day, until Bugaboo released the Andy Warhol collections. I can safely say, I am in love with these.

Breast is Best…for Dads too! by Patrick Houser

Patrick M. Houser is the author of the Fathers-To-Be Handbook, a roadmap for the transition to fatherhood, freelance writer, keynote speaker world-wide, parenting and childbirth professional educator. www.FathersToBe.org. 

This article originally appeared in  La Leche League Magazine, New Beginnings, August 2009 edition.

Throughout our history mothers breastfeeding their babies has run the spectrum from feast to famine. Very long ago nearly every mother breastfed; nature obviously had a good plan. During less distant times mothers breastfeeding became unfashionable and ‘proper society’ did not even consider it. Many only breastfed if they could not afford a wet nurse. Mothers today often approach breastfeeding with ambiguity and fathers are having a significant influence on the process.

Research has shown that 98.1 percent of mothers working outside the home breastfed when fathers were completely supportive. However, when fathers were indifferent or unsupportive, mothers only breastfed 26.9 percent of the time. Who are these fathers and what is the best way forward for mothers, fathers and babies?

Research was conducted in which expectant fathers were assigned to attend either a 2-hour class on infant care and breastfeeding promotion or a class on infant care only. Breastfeeding was initiated by 74% of women whose partners attended the intervention class, as compared with 41% of women whose partners attended the control class (Harvard medical school research). What if we actually included fathers in a meaningful way? There is a clue here as to how to increase breastfeeding rates, and the health and development of our children and mothers.

I have gotten into trouble with generalisations in the past. In the interest of discovering what the archetypal picture is I will risk a few. Some fathers think less is best and the sooner I get my breasts, and my wife, back the better. The father in this position may make his opinion known and thereby create influence over the crucial mother/child breastfeeding and bonding relationship. There is also a ‘shadow’ inherent here of where is bonding with dad going to come from. Other fathers stand back and defer to the mother and let her make her own choice. Whilst seemingly admirable, this may have the effect of dad feeling excluded, or excluding himself, and therefore missing out on potential benefits of his own. This approach could also lead to the mother and child not being as well provided for as they could be. Lastly, there are fathers and mothers who make joint decisions regarding breastfeeding and both ‘participate’ fully.

Studies reveal that hormonal activity in a father increases during his partner’s pregnancy, and more so if he is present at the birth and closely involved after. When a father is intimate with his child, especially through skin to skin contact, his oxytocin production increases. Elevated oxytocin in a father is recognized as a key component in jump-starting and maintaining his nurturing instincts and bonding with his baby. Hormones are chemicals secreted by an endocrine gland or some nerve cells that regulate the function of a specific tissue or organ. It is essentially a chemical messenger that transports a signal from one cell to another. In a way, they tell us what to do; how to ‘act’. Prolactin, vasopressin and oxytocin are among the hormones that are found at higher levels in men around the time of birth. Increased production of prolactin is known to promote bonding/attachment and caring. Raised vasopressin levels cause a man to want to protect his family and be at home rather than ‘on the prowl in search of a mate’. Vasopressin is also known as the monogamy hormone; commitment.

Oxytocin is also produced in men and women during loving contact. Because of this it has been named ‘the hormone of love’ by experts in the field including Dr. Michel Odent, Sheila Kitzinger and Dr. Sarah Buckley. It is also a necessary hormone for a mother’s body to produce in order to ensure a successful pregnancy and labour and also plays a role in breastfeeding. Since couples are already ‘in the habit’ of producing oxytocin during intimacy fathers can contribute this dimension of their relationship to the mother’s labour and breastfeeding time. Consequently, FatherLove, added as an ingredient to the scientific recipe of mother’s labour and breastfeeding can be a useful enhancement.

The result of this increased hormonal activity is that bonding, attachment, protection, love, loyalty, commitment and caring are all enhanced in a new father. Thus science is showing us that a father with close, strong, intimate contact during pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding will be supported by Mother Nature during his early engagement in the family. This then establishes a more durable foundation for a life-long loving relationship between father and child and indeed for the family itself.

While nutrition is an important part of the breastfeeding equation it is hardly the only component. Perhaps the biggest misconception is that some form of artificial milk or even bottle feeding breast milk can actually replicate breastfeeding.

A mother’s breast milk is specific to her baby and changes/adapts hourly, daily and cyclically based on that baby’s needs. These needs are physical, mental, emotional, and social as well as brain developmental. If food comes from a bottle instead of a breast many of these crucial components are lost.

For the majority of mothers a significant key to her successful pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding is the quality of care she receives from the father. By the father caring for the mother he is most certainly caring for his child as well. So what is the potential for a father’s contribution to his family, and what benefits might he derive, during this intimate time between a mother and child?

A father can carry out virtually any and all other forms of caretaking for a new baby. Plus if a dad is regularly skin to skin with his baby they both benefit. Jamie, father of 13 month old Zephyr, reports, “The breastfeeding connection is beautiful, I love watching the joy on Zephyr’s face as he sucks away into bliss. I have bonded with Zephyr very well. I have always spent a lot of time with him and we are regularly skin to skin. Now, I am running around the woods, playing, cuddling, and supporting him to be free spirited. I don't feel "on the side" at all. We both have different connections with him and they are equally strong.”

Mothers and babies need to continue their close, intimate relationship that began in the womb, a child’s security depends on it and breastfeeding is a big part of this need for a baby. It is important dads understand this and differentiate their role in early parenting. Remember, dads are dissimilar to mothers and approach life, and especially parenting, differently. Mothers also need to remember that they are the gatekeepers to the baby and it is important they support ‘dad’s way’ of being with his new baby.

Elmer is the father of 4 year old Lucien who still breastfeeds a couple of times a day. “What a gift for me as an adult male to be around my son as a living example of abundant security. Lucien having extensive breastfeeding seems only to have supported his intelligence. Our sense is that his knowing he can connect with his mother has helped him feel securely attached and it will also simply come to an end when it does. His other life transitions have taken place in their own time, as this one likely will also.”

An added bonus of a bonded father/child relationship is that the ‘life expectance’ of the family is enhanced. Fathers who do not feel included and part of a family will tend to leave, one way or another. This is reflected in our current culture for divorce and separation, especially within the first year after the birth of a child. A father who is attached and committed to his children is more likely to stay with his family. Science is on his side and Nature and Nurture are working in harmony. When a man’s nurturing instincts and hormones are awakened everyone wins. As a culture we have the responsibility to see to it that our fathers and children have the opportunity to fulfil their potential. Mothers and fathers can embrace breastfeeding together and each have a higher level of satisfaction during the time of early infancy and family bonding.

 The transition to fatherhood is one of the most significant and challenging experiences a man will ever face.

In order to have a satisfying and successful experience fathers must feel safe, supported and confident.

To optimize the possibilities for our families, we need to provide appropriate and gender specific educational, physical and emotional support for fathers.

©2009 Patrick M. Houser                                                                 

Article written for La Leche League Magazine, New Beginnings, August 2009 edition.

Born receives 'Most Eco-friendly Business' Award

On May 2nd we attended the Bristol Zoo walk of Fame awards. Born had been short listed with 2 other companies in the 'most Eco friendly business' category. The other companies were Katcha Bilek who makes wonderful furniture and bags from old tyres and inner tubes and White Design architects who design wonderful eco friendly buildings. Up against 2 great Eco friendly businesses I was so surprised when they announced Born as the winner.

8 organisations or individuals were added as 2013 conservation hero's and we will be honoured by having green plaques.  There are now 68 walk of fame plaques in total dotted all over the zoo. Ours is No. 66 and will be located by the cafe near children's ride on's, on the way to the gorillas.  Of the 68 'Walk of Fame' some of the more famous ones are J. K. Rowling, David Attenborough and Bristol Blue Glass.

In conversation with April Whincop

April Whincop is a La Leche League Leader (LLL) and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) based in Bristol.

I've had April described as the 'Mary Poppins' of breastfeeding because she is so brilliant at what she does.  April trained the Peer supporters we have in Bristol and works as a private Lactation Consultant to support mothers who want information before embarking on their breastfeeding journey, or if they require support when already breastfeeding.

In this chat April describes why people visit her and what she can do to assist if required.

She mentions the book The Womanly Art of breastfeeding which can be purchased from Born.

April can be contacted via her website Believe in Breastfeeding.

To listen to the interview please click on the link below.

Eva interview with April Whincop April 2013